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WHY GOD MADE Moms!
 This year, Mothers fell on Sunday, May 8. In honor of all mothers, we would like to share the following answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions.
Why did God make mothers?
She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
Mostly to clean the house.
To help us out of there when we get born.
How did God make mothers?
He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
God made my Mom just the same as he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in world and one dab of mean.
They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly used string I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
We’re related.
God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s Mom like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
His last name.
She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
She got too old to do anything else with him.
My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of it.
I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
Who’s the boss at your house?
Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because Dad’s such a goofball.
Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.
What’s the difference between moms and dads?
Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just go to work at work.
Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ‘cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
Moms have magic. They make you feel better without medicine.
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"THE LIGHTER SIDE"
Ole lived across the Minnesota River from Clarence Bunsen, whom Ole didn’t like at all. They were yelling across the river at each other all the time.
Ole would yell to Clarence, “If I had a vay to cross dis river, I’d come over dere an beat you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by golly!”
This went on for years. Finally, the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses.
Ole’s wife, Lena, asked, “Now is your chance, Ole. Vhy don’t you go over dere and beat up dat Clarance, like you said you vud?”
Ole replied, “OK, by yimmy, I tink I vill do yust dat!”
Ole started for the bridge, but saw a sign on the bridge and stopped to read it, turned around and came back home.
Lena asked, “Vhy did you come back?”
Ole said, “Lena, I tink I changed my mind ‘bout beatin’ up dat Clarence. You know, when I yell at him from across the river he don’t look so big, but dey put a sign on da bridge dat says “Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in.”
If you have a Joke or funny story you would like to share, please e-mail them to
larrywe@atsinc.com.
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